Date: 17th October 2017
Carol – TACT Adopter
Between January and March 2015, we had approached a couple of adoption agencies and attended an information evening with our local authority. None wanted to take us on. We were new in the area and had not built enough networks, so they told us . It was disheartening, but we didn’t give up.
One day, while checking emails, DH saw a TACT advert. He clicked on it, read through the website and rang TACT. After talking to the manager on duty, our adoption journey started. Stage 1 was relatively smooth. We attended the recommended courses and took on any advise given by our social worker. 6 months on, we got approved as adopters. It was an exciting time.
Our stage 2 was not as smooth. Family finding was more stressful than we had anticipated. Being turned down for possible matches because of age – we are both over 40, was most disheartening. It felt like a long wait. 12 months after our approval, we were matched with a sibling pair, Missy who was 2 and a half, and Mister who had just turned 1. It had finally happened. All the disappointments of stage 2 seemed to vanish when we met our children. It was worth the wait.
Fast forward 11 months, and our lives have been totally turned around positively. Our house is now noisy. There is loud laughter, cries, & screaming. There are also moments of cuddles, more laughter, non stop chatter and cheekiness.
I remember when we brought our children home looking at DH and saying ‘what have we done!’ The reality was that these gorgeous children were now totally dependent on us. What sort of mum would I be? What would it be like when we took them out, would everyone know they were adopted? How would we cope? It was a huge change for us, but more so for such young children.
I shouldn’t have worried. We have all settled into our new lives really well. I cannot imagine life without our babies. It has been challenging as well as most rewarding. There have been some really tough days, but there have also been wonderful days and moments. I feel like a mum. I am a mum. I have given up work to care for our children. Watching them grow and bond together as siblings as well as bonding with us brings joy to my heart. The random kiss or hug from Mister, or Missy saying I love you Mama, or I miss Daddy makes it all worth while. Most amazing is watching them on our return from a weekend away. Their sense of relief on returning home, back to the familiar. It’s like they are saying, this is where we belong.
The support we have had from TACT has been second to none, which is why I am running the 2018 London Marathon to raise money for the charity. Both our stage 1 and 2 social workers were brilliant, going out of their way to support us. Even now the adoption order has been made, we know TACT is only a phone call away.