What qualities do you need?
There is really no ‘ideal’ adoptive parent as for as circumstances are concerned. You could come from any background, culture and ethnic group. As long as you’re over 21, your age isn’t too important. You could be single or married, heterosexual or gay, an experienced parent or childless and ready to learn. If you are applying jointly with a partner, you must have lived together for 2 years, and be able to demonstrate that the partnership has stability.
You could be disabled. You could be a homeowner or living in rented accommodation - as long as you are settled and secure it really doesn’t matter. We are far, far more interested in what you could offer a child in need.
You must be ready to make a real and lasting commitment - able to put and keep a child right at the centre of your life. Dedication is important too as is patience and understanding. On a practical note, you’ll need to be in good health and you must be able to provide a stable, consistent environment for any child you take in to your home.
The last point is crucial. Most of the children we are seeking to place have had difficult backgrounds. They tend to need more than just love. Their behaviour can often be challenging and looking after them isn’t always easy but it could well be the most rewarding experience of your life.Qualities of successful adopters often include:
- Being able to keep the child at the centre of your life (or what is known by social workers as child centredness)
- Warmth
- Consistency
- Flexibility
- Tenacity
- Sense of humour
- Ability to reflect on problems
- Understanding of how problems originate
- Inventiveness in parenting strategies
- Good relationships with your own parents during childhood (what social workers call good attachments in your own childhood), or if you have not had good relationships during childhood, an understanding of how this has affected you.
- Openness to considering maintaining some links with the child's birth family
